Tags
belief, Bipolar, Christian, depression, empower, faith, fat, fitness, God, health, higher power, humble, interval training, Jesus, motivation, OA, over eaters anonymous's, overweight, perseverance, personal training, strength, success, the poor disorder, training, trust, Weight loss, weight loss journey, weightlifting
Today’s work out with Trainer included functional movement training and HIIT. The HIIT training was 400m on the ergometer then 12 thrusters. Repeat 4x. Now… In my “glory days” of being and athlete, this would be nothing… a warm up maybe! I am not that athlete anymore… So this shit owned my fucking ass until I was a little bitch baby crying on the last 5 thrusters … But I did it and damn I couldn’t be more proud of myself. I didn’t quit. Everyday I am feeling stronger. I can push just a little bit more and it feels sooo good to be moving in any direction, but even more so, in a POSITIVE direction.
Still suffering from my inner winter and getting to the gym, my head was not in the game. I was falling during squats, unfocused, just praying for some life threatening ailment to prevent me from having to continue with our training session. Then Trainer took me aside and told me to talk about why my head wasn’t in it. Our heart to heart made things just click for me (today). I suddenly saw life through different eyes (if only for a second) and my idea of my self worth completely shifted. Even though I finished in tears of pain (and joy) I completed it. I wish I could say that I believed in myself and that’s why I finished but I can’t. What I can say is that I believed that Trainer believes in me and sees something that at this point in training/life, I am unable to see but (sometimes) hope is there. I guess at the end of the day we just need to trust and believe in something (greater than ourselves) to make it out alive and on the other side.